My Secret Bully

My secret bully, story by trudy Ludwig. Katie is my secret bully. A lot of people would be surprised to know this, because they think she's my friend. And she does act like my friend. Sometimes, but lately, I'm not so sure. Keith and I have known each other since kindergarten. We spent a lot of time together because we like doing the same kinds of things. Making perfumes with flowers picked from my yard, playing soccer in The Rain, sharing secrets, and spying on our bossy, know it all brothers. I love being around Katie when she's nice to me. But there are times when she's not, she can be just plain mean. And I don't know why. It all started a few months ago during school recess. I noticed Katie whispering to a group of girls and looking at me. I went up to them and asked Katie, what they were talking about. She said, oh, nothing, mon ika. I'll tell you later. Then some of the other girls giggled, like it really was something. And that made me feel bad. The next day, when I was playing with Sarah, Katie grabbed my arm and pulled me away. Case stop it, I said, I was talking to Sarah. If you play with her, she whispered in my ear. I won't come over to your house tomorrow. Then she let go of my arm and skipped away as if nothing happened. But something did happen. And it didn't feel right to me. I wasn't sure what to do. I really wanted to get together with Katie, but I wanted to play with Sarah too. So I just ignored what Katie said, thinking maybe she was having a bad day. A few days later, I saw Katie playing wall ball with Sarah. It looked like a lot of fun. So I asked if I could join them. Katie just stared at me and didn't say anything. Not one word. Katie, I asked again, can I play wall ball with you and Sarah? We're in the middle of a special game right now. Maybe later. I looked at Sarah, hoping she would change Katie's mind, but she didn't say anything. Sarah just stared at her shoes and pretended I wasn't there. So I walked away, feeling a tight knot growing in my belly. At night, I couldn't concentrate on my homework, and my mom noticed. What's wrong sweet pea? She asked, I'm having trouble with Katie, I said. She seems to be really mad at me, and I don't know why. You've been friends for a long time Monica. I'm sure you'll work it out, she said. I guess, but it really wasn't sure. Why don't you give her a call and talk to her about it, mom suggested? So I did. But when I asked her if she was mad at me for some reason, Katie said, no, I'm not mad at you. You are so sensitive about stuff. Well, I have to do my homework. See you later. Maybe she was right. Maybe I was too sensitive. Things didn't get any better. After a while, in fact, they got worse. Much worse. It got to the point where no one would play with me at recess. I was all by myself. And there was Katie. Hanging out with my other friends, laughing, and being all sweet, and nice to everyone. Button. Maybe there was something wrong with me. Last month, for the third day in a row, I told my mom that I had bad stomach ache and didn't feel good enough to go to school. You've been complaining of stomach aches a lot lately, she said. Is something going on at school that's giving you this upset stomach Monica? When I saw the look of love and worry in my mom's eyes, I knew I couldn't keep my secret bully as secret any longer. At first, she just started to cry and couldn't stop. Mom hugged me a lot, and waited patiently for me to talk. And I did. I told her how hard it is to be friends with Katie. She's nice to me when we're playing alone, but rarely mean to me when you're around other people. I even think she's been saying bad things about me to my Friends so they won't like me. I explained. I told my mom everything and she listened to what I had to say. I mean, she really listened to me. Mom didn't play me or asked me to be nicer to Katie and she didn't say. That's just the way girls are, see it better get used to it. Like my babysitter did when I tried to talk to her about it. I felt a lot better after I talked with my mom. Mom says there are some problems in life that aren't easily solved, and this is one of them. But it helps to know that I'm not alone. I found out that a lot of other kids have had this happen to them. Even my mom, when she was a kid, but that doesn't make it right. And that doesn't mean this is the way it has to be. Mom and I talked about what I could do to stand up for myself. We even did what mom calls role playing. Where she acted like she was Katie, and I got to practice out loud, what I wanted to say to her, without sounding like a bully myself. So the next day, I was ready. I walked right up to Katie during morning recess. Waiting for her to do her worst. She looked at me and started whispering to her circle of friends. I stared at her straight in the eyes and said, Katie, does it make you feel good to make me feel bad? Because friends don't do that to friends. She turned red in the phrase and looked away. Right then, I knew Katie could no longer hurt me. I don't see Katie anymore. I feel sad about that, but now I know that real friends don't treat each other the way she treated me. Real Friends respect your feelings and work things out with you when you have problems. Real Friends like you just, the way you are. Will they ever be friends with Katie again? I don't think so. I just want to be around people who really like me. I'm feeling much better about myself these days. I've made new friends at school and on my gymnastics team. And I don't get stomachaches like I did before. Having a secret bully was eating up my insides. But now that the secret's out, I don't feel bad anymore. It's nice to know that whatever I do, I'm going to be just fine.